Daydreams Full of Half Thoughts

The sound of the chair reclining resounded through the quiet office. He scrolled through the youtube recommendations in the same halfhearted manner as he had the day before. He had already seen most of them. A well-dressed and generic looking man in a grey suit and black tie walked in. He had a big smile on his face, “I saw that it was open. Just wanted to come in and see how everything was going.”

Without looking up, he responded, “Going well sir, I’ll have everything in by the end of the day.”

“Sounds good. There’s fresh coffee in the break room and let me know if you need anything else.” Said the man as he walked out.

He sighed, “will do, thanks.”

He waited a second. Then he jumped off his chair and hurriedly shut the door, making sure to lock it. He walked over back to his desk and opened the bottom drawer. He shifted through some papers pulling out a small white bottle from underneath. Carelessly, he threw the bottle on his desk and fell back into his chair, loosening his blue and dark blue checkered tie. He had started taking the pills several months ago. He didn’t need them, but they made the day go by much faster. He knew he would never take too many anyway. He couldn’t afford it. His supplier insisted on a hefty price. He sat up in his chair and took hold of the bottle. He twisted open the top and quickly but carefully transferred one pill from the bottle to his hand to his mouth. He seized the mug full of water from his desk and swallowed the pill with one giant gulp. He couldn’t wait for it to take effect. The day would end in a flash.

His mind began to wander into daydreams full of half thoughts; as if his mind was playing a movie he wasn’t paying attention to. He didn’t notice his breathing begin to slow. As he slowly fell back in his chair, his eyes began to close. He heard a faint crashing noise which he failed to recognize as his chair tipping over and his body hitting the floor….

“The doctor says I don’t need it anymore, and my parents are taking his side, but I know I’m still in pain.” He said discontentedly. His arm had completely healed but he felt he still needed the medicine. He had taken matters into his own hands and gotten more from one of the other kids at school.

His friend looked back at him, “Why don’t parents understand anything? They’re gonna tell you you’re not in pain now?”

He laughed, “Hold on man, I’m just gonna take one of these really quickly. Make sure no one comes in here okay.” He said, moving into the bathroom. He hurried passed each stall checking underneath to ensure no one was there.

He knocked on one of the stalls, “hey!”

No one answered. The bathroom was empty. He shoved his hand into his pocket to take one of the pills out of the baggie without removing the baggie from his pocket. After a minute of struggling, he got it. He placed the white tablet on his tongue.  He didn’t have his water bottle with him. It wasn’t a problem. He had been taking medicine for some time now and did not need water to wash it down.

His mind began to wander into daydreams full of half thoughts; as if his mind was playing a movie he wasn’t paying attention to. His hands rested on either side of the sink. He didn’t notice his breathing begin to slow. Slowly, his eyes began to close. He heard a faint crashing noise which he failed to recognize as his body hitting the floor…

The blinker flashed, left, left, left, left. She waited patiently for an opening in the oncoming lane. She thought about the groceries she had just purchased, neatly arranged in the trunk. Sighing, she took the left turn. She was practically home now. She heard honking behind her. She was driving 10 miles per hour below the speed limit. She watched the houses slowly pass by until she saw her own in the side mirror. She turned onto the driveway and set the car in park. She turned the air conditioning up and sat back. It was already cool in the car, but she still felt as though she was burning up. She flipped open the glove compartment. She stared at the white pill bottle inside. She looked up to see her neighbor walking back to his front door. She waited for him to go inside. As the door closed behind him, she pulled out the pill bottle and quickly put one of the pills in her mouth. She took her water out of the cupholder and slowly drank the pill down. She stared down at the pill bottle thinking about how she should put it away immediately. She did not. She thought about getting caught with the pills. The police would take her away. She wouldn’t be home for when the kids arrived, dropping their things all over the floor and constantly asking “what’s for dinner”.  Her husband would get a call, but he’d be too busy to answer it. She’d be stuck in prison. She didn’t notice her breathing begin to slow. Her mind began to wander into daydreams full of half thoughts; as if her mind was playing a movie she wasn’t paying attention to. Slowly, her eyes began to close. She heard a honking noise which she failed to recognize as her head hitting the car horn…

“How could you do something like this?! What have you turned into?”, His partner asked.

He smiled, “I’ve never left a job undone, and I wasn’t about to start.”

His partner now somewhere between confused and angry, “A job undone, you were taken off the project, so now you just kill innocent people?!”

He maintained his composure, completely calm, “Hardly innocent, they were drug addicts. The disease of civilization. I was going to bring down this whole drug crisis in a better way, but the captain didn’t have the stomach for what needs to be done. None of them felt any pain. They basically just went to sleep.”

His partner frantically, “Went to sleep?! You poisoned the drugs. You poisoned people. They’re all dead.”

He smirked, “Yes, it is less than ideal but it was a necessary sacrifice. Now the drug issue is solved. No more addicts and no more suppliers.”

His partner paused. Slowly, the color returned to his face as he became calm, “You have lost it. You’ve become everything you used to stand against. You may not be addicted to drugs, but you are an addict of the worst kind.”

His partner took a step forward, “You are under arrest.”

He held out his hands, “I’ll go quietly.”

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The times changes, the setting changes, sometimes even the characters change…

But the story always stays the same…

A Second Look

Take a second look and you’ll see

The monsters that followed you everywhere

Creeping in the basement

Hiding in the closet

Lurking under the bed

The beady eyes of every eerie stuffed animal

The long reaching shadow of your favorite tree

A tomorrow that will never be

An insecurity that always be

An idea that grew to be

All exist only within me, a truth which makes you see
The fearsome one… Has always been me

A good traveler knows it’s better to be behind on the right path, than ahead on the wrong path.

The Scene I See

All roads end in disaster

All I can do is stand still

The scene around me begins to change…

And I start to see

Even standing still is not standing still

Disaster will end up finding me.

The Skyscrapers

The skyscrapers standing tall; so close yet still lingering behind. It was a habit of mine to look up at the redness of sky every day as soon as I walked out. The alternating colors, the openness, the setting sun, the varying clouds; it was all so captivating. I stared for a minute then made my way through the crowd. I could feel my legs hitting the back of my coat as I walked. I like my coat. I appreciate the way it acts as a barrier between myself and the outside world.

There was a man standing on the corner; a street performer who had attracted a small crowd. He was a magician by name, a trickster by trade. Nothing but a tale concocted by the mind to explain what the senses had failed to perceive.

I passed by a small café where a young man and woman were engaged in some sort of dispute. They were sitting across from each other. I was trying to figure out if they had finished eating or had not gotten their food yet. It’s best to save arguing until after you eat. You don’t want to ruin the meal. At least after the meal you can part ways.  They were probably having a good night until he said something. Or maybe she’s just mad for no reason. Or maybe he’s mad for some reason. Maybe they’re not even mad, maybe they’re just hungry.

As I approached the parking garage, I noticed a man shifting through his pockets. I wonder what he was looking for. He wasn’t facing the parking garage. He was probably looking for his keys or his phone; two things people always use and are always looking for. How do you lose something you were using two minutes ago?

I was driving away now. My eyes were now required to be focused on the cracked and gravely road; a hundred things to notice and no time to take any of it in. As I drove away, I glanced into the rearview mirror. I noticed the skyscrapers standing tall; so close yet still lingering behind.

The mind is an unexplored landscape. Why build the same things on yours that have been built everywhere else?